It's not a child marriage

Today is Akshay Tritiya, a holy day for Hindus and Jains, famously known as Akha Teej. On this day Veda Vyas and Lord Ganesha began to write Mahabharata. The meaning of the word Akshaya is infinite that which never recede. It is unknown why and when ritual of marriage that started on this day lead to the child marriages and as the day says Akshay it’s not ending even today, doesn’t matter how hard we are trying. Thousands of child marriages take place every year on this day in the different states of India such as Rajasthan, Madhya Pradesh, Haryana, Uttar Pradesh etc.

I can clearly remember this story from my past. Megha was her name. She was my neighbour. Beautiful is the only word in the dictionary from which I can describe her. She was 17 years old then when a business family came to their house with the marriage proposal of their only son with Megha. Their whole family got together for the occasion. Her father and other males of family were discussing about this proposal, suddenly her mother entered in the room and said: "Abhi to choti si bachhi hai, aur ladki ke liye shadi ki umar bhi 18 saal hoti hai, kahi police case me na phans jaye."

So after a long discussion they came to the conclusion that they will marry Megha with their son next year when she will be 18, she will turn into a mature woman and there will not be any government issues.

In the meanwhile she completed her school education and entered in college. There she fell in love with a boy. None of her family member knew about it. Time was running with its pace, and she turned 18. It was her birthday and the family who earlier came with the marriage proposal came again with so many amazing gifts. But they did not turn out that much amazing for her, she was not happy with this decision of her parents and was not in favour of marrying that guy. Her mother said: "Arey bahut paise wale hain, tujhe hamesha khush rakhenge."

But she was not convinced because she knew that her happiness is in that boy whom she loved. That boy convinced her to run away from the home and she did.

Megha was sitting in the corner of dark room; her pale face was telling the whole story. The girl who was full of life was not even speaking a single word today; it was raining from the last night and cool breeze was all around but she was choked with her emotions. The words which she heard from her parents last night were coming across her again and again.

Yesterday, her mother was crying, ” This girl has made us guilty, (itne salo me jo izzat kamayi thi aaj iski wajah se chali gayi).” Sound of lightning was adding more pain to her voice. Rain water was flowing with a great flow; but tears started drying in eyes of each person present in that house.

All the people living around her house were talking about her.

"Arey unki beti ke bare me suna?"

"Kya zamana aa gaya hai, ghar wale shadi kara rahe the aur ladke ke sath bhag gayi, aur jab wapis aayi to kisi ko mooh dikhane ke layak nahi rahi."

"Ladki ko padhne bheja tha aur ye waha ye sab kar rahi thi."

Yes, they all were right, it was her fault. Ironically, nobody is blaming the boy and their families who forced the girl into an early engagement against her wishes. If they haven’t engaged her with that boy she would not have run away from house.  At one place we worship goddess Saraswati, Laxmi, Parvati and in 21st century we are talking about women working along with men and attaining greater heights, but at other side we are still blaming girls for such things.

This is the one problem of our society and these days everyone is talking about women empowerment so we may think that things will change. But I started writing with one more problem that is child marriage. Megha’s parents refused the marriage proposal when she was 17, were they really thinking that she is not mature enough for marriage or just for the sake of rules they refused it?  They were living in the city, so they thought of rules and government once, but people who are living in villages they do not even give a thought to it.

As you can see almost whole India filled with orange color i.e. average female age at marriage is below 18 and one in four adolescent girls between 15 and 19 years of age in India is married. So this is as big problem as poverty or corruption and someone has to look into it more seriously. We have to overcome this problem for better and healthy India.

In the end I would like to make one more point: “Not that, teenage infatuations are bad but; "Even at at an age of 18 is a girl mature enough for marriage?"

Photograph Credits: Ajay Menon Photography and UNICEF